


they say a mother's love is the best love of all

by alecisgay



Series: drabbles [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: M/M, and the way she treated her children up until the dinner, everyone else is mentioned in passing, it's Maryse focused, mostly about alec though tbh, this is Maryse looking back on her life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 08:55:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14209632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecisgay/pseuds/alecisgay
Summary: And that’s not the life she wanted for Alec, for any of her children. Didn’t want to make her children go through what she did but somewhere along the way she lost sight of her promise.





	they say a mother's love is the best love of all

**Author's Note:**

> this is not beta read, so just a warning! all mistakes are my own <3

Maryse Lightwood remembers when she was a child trying to impress her own mother. She remembers wanting to do anything to gain even the slightest bit of reaction but the answers were all the same – “Maryse don’t do that,” or “Maryse don’t touch that, it’s important.”

And to her five year old mind she couldn’t understand that. Couldn’t understand why her brother got all the attention while she struggled for her mother’s attention. Couldn’t understand why some boring old paperwork was more important to her mother than her own children.

But most importantly, she remembers swearing to herself at a young age that she would never treat her own children this way, swearing to put their happiness before hers.

She remembers when Alec was younger and Isabelle had been no older than three years old. They had wanted to make her breakfast in bed on a day that she hadn’t been feeling too well, having sustained a demon bite to the shoulder that she kept covered around her children for fear of upsetting them. She didn’t want them fussing over her when Alec should be studying his runes but she knew without a doubt that Isabelle wouldn’t leave Alec alone about this until she knew her mother was fine.

And thus Alec, along with Isabelle, had made her breakfast in bed. Their breakfast could have passed for something the demons could’ve ate on a daily basis but their smiles were so big, so dazzling. She didn’t want to risk upsetting them, not when they had tried so hard to make her feel better. So she had picked up the fork and knife, cutting into the egg that looked more like a rotten demon’s eyeball than something that was supposed to resemble an egg but she ate it with a smile on her face.

The egg was crunchy, every bite containing pieces of egg shells she couldn’t have picked up with the black surrounding it. The bacon was burnt to a crisp, the toast barely toasted in places but black in others that Maryse had to smile – only her children could have been able to pull something like this off.

She ate every last bite with a smile on her face while Isabelle and Alec stood at the end of her bed, bouncing on the balls of their feet with grins stretched upon their faces awaiting for their mother’s approval for the meal they had created. She remembers telling them how much of an amazing job they had done, remembers Alec’s statement of wanting to make her the get better food she always made for them when they had a lazy morning in bed or when they weren’t feeling too well.

Remembers how sick she had been for days later and Robert asking her what happened to her, grilling her for information and trying to decide if he should take her down to the infirmary. Remembers the face Robert had made as she had explained their children had wanted their mother to feel better, so they made her breakfast in bed that looked more like she was eating pieces of a demon than what a breakfast was supposed to look like.

And Maryse couldn’t help thinking back to the promise she had made when she was younger, the promise to treat her children better than she had been treated. So when had she broken that promise? Was it when Alec was 12 when she punished him for forgetting a simple rune? Was it when she had punished Isabelle for being too attached to Robert? Or perhaps it had been when she was all too eager to throw away Jace because of his supposed ties to Valentine?

She had failed as a mother – she realizes that now. Especially with her eldest child. The child who was terrified of being himself, of coming to her or Robert about anything. The child she forced into a marriage that would’ve put him through hell; a loveless marriage. The child who she had degraded for choosing a Downworlder over a Shadowhunter. For choosing his heart over his duty to the Clave. His duty to her to follow into step over everything she had worked for to create a better life for her children.

And for what? To restore the Lightwood name? The Lightwood name, she thinks, has been through a lot already and no marriage could’ve restored what it’s been through. It was foolish and wishful thinking at the time.

And that’s not the life she wanted for Alec, for any of her children. Didn’t want to make her children go through what she did but somewhere along the way she lost sight of her promise.

She wishes she could say the reason behind changing her ways was because of her children – which in some ways, it _was._ But the driving force behind all of this, she thinks to herself, is finding out about Robert and the upcoming divorce. Finding things out about Robert was both a blessing a curse – it opened her eyes and made her realize what a terrible mother she’s been despite her children trying to reassure her otherwise.

Made her realize that Alec’s relationship with Magnus was the best form of love she could have wished for her children to receive. She’s seen the way they act together when they think no one is watching and she couldn’t have been happier; in some ways they remind her of the way Robert and her had acted when they first got together.

Before all the drama. Before the cheating, the lies.

But Magnus would never do that to Alec she reminds herself. She has to remind herself that she knows Magnus is the type of person to rather die before having to hurt her son or his younger siblings.

And as she raises her hand to knock on Magnus Bane’s apartment door to attend the family dinner, because Magnus _is family_ to her, she knows she can rest easy.

And as the door opens to reveal Magnus’ apartment, she knows she has nothing to worry about after being stripped of her runes. Her children will be loved and cared for. They will be treasured by their partners and that’s all Maryse could’ve ever asked for as a mother.

**Author's Note:**

> this truly was set to be a drabble to get me in the mood for writing again (especially with participating in so many big events) but i kind of got carried away lol. i hope you enjoy this <3  
> comments & kudos are appreciated too <3
> 
> come talk or request something of me on [my Tumblr](https://alecisgay.tumblr.com) if you wish!


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